I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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