sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what day is it and did you see me today?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
