Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Even my vagina gasped.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
