Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
