Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
