Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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