He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
