I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
