If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
