last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
