It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
