I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
