ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
