Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
