You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
