Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So much rum. So many feels.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
