In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
