soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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