Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
