Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
