So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
