Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
