If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
farters have to be the big spoon...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
