Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
