So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
