Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
