We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
