It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
