I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
