My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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