Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
