I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
