I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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