Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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