you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
