He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
