Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
