my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
