My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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