Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
