i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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