just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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