Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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