GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
