Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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