wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
