I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
