he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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