You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
