I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
