"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Randomize
